Blog Layout

Going Back to Go Forward

Robyn Black • February 22, 2021

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality 

I was speaking to my sister on the phone yesterday. She and her family go to Hillsong church. We spoke about a pastor who has been stood down in the USA, for having affairs. My sister said about Brian Houston ‘I think he’s very trusting of people and he trusted that pastor’. I said, ‘well he wasn’t trained by Beryl (our mother) was he?!?You know, where everyone is under suspicion until proven otherwise!’ She laughed and agreed, yep we grew up trained in the fine art of guilty until proven innocent! The truth is, we are all incredibly shaped by our families for good and for ill, and today we’re looking at that. We are in our third week of a sermon series on Emotionally Healthy Spirituality as part of the season of Lent, and we’ll follow this for the 6 Sundays before Easter. 

Today is about the impact of our family on us, and Joseph had a doozy of a family going back generations. Joseph’s grandparents are Abraham and Sarah. In their relationship alone you have lies (Abraham lied twice about Sarah), sibling rivalry of Isaac and Ishmael, favouritism (Abraham favoured Ishmael and that caused big issues).

Joseph’s grandparents are Isaac and Rebecca and in the relationship we find lies, sibling rivalry, favouritism, and an unhealthy marriage. Then we look at Joseph’s father Jacob and his mother Rachel and you have lies, sibling rivalry between Esau and Jacob and favouritism (Isaac favoured Esau and Rebecca favoured Jacob). Are you seeing any patterns?

Joseph’s father Jacob has two wives and two concubines. He was lied to by his father in law, and tricked into marrying sisters Leah and Rachel. Jacob has a favourite wife Rachel and therefore her first born Joseph is the favourite son, out of 12 children. And that causes enormous problems.  

There is a generational pattern of behaviour here, but interestingly, Joseph breaks this family pattern. And if you’re here today thinking, I see the family pattern in my own family and I can see it happening again…I want to say, there is hope. 

Jacob is the favourite son and Joseph makes a special robe of many colours – it’s a symbol of status and authority. So here’s Joseph, the youngest, but he’s given the authority by the father as the favourite kid. One of Joseph’s abilities is that he has dreams. One night Joseph has a dream where he sees everybody, including his brothers, bowing down to him. Having the dream is not so bad, but then he shares it with his brothers who already despise him. Joseph says “isn’t that a great dream???” and he brothers say, “Yeh….let’s kill him”

Joseph life seems marked by traumas at the hands of his family. His brothers hate him at this point so much that they throw him into a deep well to die. He’s finally pulled out of the well by some of his younger brothers who feel bad for him, but then he is sold to the Egyptians as a slave. The brothers then go back to their elderly father Jacob and They tell their father that Joseph’s been killed by lions. There’s lying, secrecy, favouritism and jealousy, just like their parents before them and their grandparents before them. In the space of one day, Joseph loses his parents, siblings, culture, country, language, freedom, and hope. 

Then in Egypt, he was falsely accused of raping Potiphar’s wife and thrown into prison. His own family reject him, sell him as a slave, and then he’s thrown into gaol based on lies. You kind of wonder “How can Joseph go forward? How did he not just give up? I mean, he’s here simply because of his family.

In gaol Joseph would have had a LOT of time to think about how his family had wrecked his life. If anyone should have been filled with rage and bitterness toward his family, it was Joseph! You’d think he’d be plotting his revenge, working out how to get even, if he ever got out of gaol. But the story of Joseph doesn’t finish that way. In fact, he went on to honour and bless the family that betrayed him. 

After almost 13 years in prison, through a series of events, Joseph is elevated by the Pharaoh to be one of his advisers and is made number two person in this super power nation of Egypt. Joseph is put in full charge of Egypt. Famine does eventually break out, not just in Egypt, but all over the surrounding area, but because of Joseph Egypt is well prepared for the famine. 

Joseph’s brothers have to travel to Egypt to beg for food 22 years have now passed Joseph is physically unrecognizable to them…but Joseph knew exactly who they were. He’d spent 22 years thinking about them. At this point he could have had them thrown in gaol – he would not have even needed a reason. He could have had them killed – just as they had intended for him at one point. Or, he could have walked away and commanded another Egyptian deal with them…because this is painful. 

But he does neither of those things. He sets up a bit of a test to see if his brothers have changed over the years, and it seems they have. He then reveals who he is. He helps his father and brothers settle on the best land Egypt has.

How does he do this?

Firstly, he has a profound sense of God in all of his circumstances. 
Joseph repeatedly affirms that God was with him throughout his whole life, the good and the bad, the pain and the hardship. He says to his brothers in Genesis 45:8 “So it was God who sent me here, not you! And he is the one who made me an adviser to Pharaoh—the manager of his entire palace and the governor of all Egypt.”

Joseph understood that in all things God is at work, in spite of, some of the diabolical circumstances we find ourselves in…sometimes because of our family.  

Many years later Joseph says to his brothers (and this is a great verse) Genesis 50:20-21:
20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. 21 No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.”

I want to be really clear, I don’t believe God makes these bad things happen in our families. I don’t believe God intended to harm us and I don’t believe he intends us to end up in families that hurt us.
But it’s this idea that God says, if you give it to me, if you give your life to me, I’ll EVEN use the pain in your life and in your families, and bring about something good. 

The point of the story of Joseph’s family is that God can and will work in mysterious ways through all this mess of life we experience. God is working to move Joseph to a place in Egypt to bless and save many people. God is working on a purpose in spite of Joseph’s brothers and messed up father. Joseph believes that God is weaving a plan, even when he can’t see it. He’s in prison. He’s a slave. He doesn’t know what’s going on, but he knows one thing that brings him hope—God is good. 

Second, he honestly admits the sadness and losses of his family.
He does not deny or minimise the harm done to him. He grieves it deeply. In fact Genesis 45:2 says “Then he broke down and wept. He wept so loudly the Egyptians could hear him”. He does not sweep anything under the carpet and pretend nothing happened. But out of his honest grieving of the pain, he truly forgave and was able to bless the brothers who had betrayed him.

Finally, Joseph partnered with God to be a blessing. 
Joseph had a choice. He could have destroyed his brothers in his anger, but instead he chose to bless them. I think, this choice is not about the brothers, but it’s about God. Can God be trusted? Is God good? Is God safe? Then, I can make brave choices for my future, and they don’t have to be determined by my pain. God bless as you go back to your family of origin, to go forward. 

Sermons For The Moment

By Robyn Black January 9, 2022
New Year - Matthew 2:13-23
By Robyn Black January 9, 2022
Do not be afraid - Matthew 1:18-21
By Robyn Black December 21, 2021
Luke 2: 4- 15
By Robyn Black December 19, 2021
Luke 1: 26-33
By Robyn Black December 6, 2021
This is a subtitle for your new post
By Robyn Black December 6, 2021
Ruth Chapter 4
By Robyn Black November 23, 2021
Ruth 3
By Robyn Black November 21, 2021
Ruth 2
By Robyn Black November 2, 2021
Commitment from Love, Ruth 1: 1-18
October 28, 2021
This is an interesting Psalm – another psalm of ascent. We spoke about these Psalms of Ascent a few weeks ago. They were songs the Jewish people sang as they made their way to Jerusalem to go to the temple, through the forest, along the tracks, camping by the roads. And I believe songs like this kept them focussed and kept their spirits up. I can imagine days of walking together, tiring, boring, hot and dusty. And singing some of these Psalms keep them focussed on the faithfulness of God. Much better then eye spy for the kids. Journeys are not all their cracked up to be even if the destination is worth it. As you know, when I was growing up we always holidayed at Bawley Point past Ulladulla, and in those days it was about a 4 hour drive from Sydney. We always left later than we meant to…and the last 20 mins was on a dirt road. One year when I was probably about 4 years old it was dark by the time we got to the dirt road, and half way along the dirt road, was a dodgy wooden bridge over a river. I think part of the bridge had been damaged and we had to wait a bit in the pitch black darkness before we could proceed. Dad was out with a torch ensuring the bridge was safe to drive on and mum and us 4 kids were sitting in the darkness – no street lights, no moonlight. Of course, you might be able to guess what I said to mum in that car, with fearful crying…you’ve probably heard it from kids before. I said ‘I want to go home’. Mum said to me, ‘we can’t go home Robyn, we’re almost there’. In truth, after the bridge we had the last 10 minutes of a 4 hours journey left. We safely crossed the bridge and we were OK. But I remember it. I remember the feeling of being scarred in the darkness. I remember not liking this journey at all. Even though I always loved the destination. Well this psalm celebrates the end of the journey and the arrival at the destination. Psalm 126:1-3, “When the Lord brought back his exiles to Jerusalem, it was like a dream! We were filled with laughter, and we sang for joy. And the other nations said, “What amazing things the Lord has done for them.” Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us! What joy!” Before we can understand the laughter and joy of the Israelites, we have to understand their journey. This Psalm looks back to when they arrived back in Jerusalem after 70 long years in Babylon. The captives had experienced great sorrow and mourning in exile. We read these heartbreaking words in Psalm 137: “Beside the rivers of Babylon, we sat and wept as we thought of Jerusalem. We put away our harps, hanging them on the branches of poplar trees. For our captors demanded a song from us. Our tormentors insisted on a joyful hymn: “Sing us one of those songs of Jerusalem!” But how can we sing the songs of the Lord while in a pagan land?” (Psalm 137:1-4). Their tormentors demanded they sing joyfully, but they were like – that’s impossible, it doesn’t come from our heart. So they just sat by the waters of Babylon and wept. But now by an amazing work of God they were suddenly back in Jerusalem. And so their joy came from their heart. The wait was over, the journey was complete. “We were filled with laughter, and we sang for joy.” The journey is the hard bit though isn’t it? I was reminded of this, this week. An Officer couple I was speaking to, said that their teenager said some very hurtful things to them. Stuff like, ‘you make my life worse’. As they spoke to me, I did very little but listen and pray with them. They do have other supports in their life as well, already seeing a psychologist. But what I was thinking in my head as they were speaking was ‘oh the teenage years, I’d forgotten them’. Though we have 2 wonderful young adults in P and K, they were times when it was more than tense. K wears her heart on her sleeve, and to this day apologises for some of the things she said to me. And P, you wouldn’t know what he was thinking, and then all of a sudden all his thoughts and feelings for the last 3 years would come out like molten lava everywhere. A few days later I checked in to see how the couple and their teenager were going. I mentioned in passing about teenage years and very briefly about our experiences. I didn’t want to make it all about me. But I said teenage years can be painful and those years can really hurt everyone in the family. Teenager included. They know that we have a good relationship with P and K and they said to me, you know, this is helpful. It gives us hope. I was like, yep, this too shall pass. Because when you’re in the midst of the journey of pain and sorrow, you sometimes wonder if there’s light at the end of the tunnel. If you’ll laugh again or experience joy again. You begin to wonder, “Is this all that God has for me? Will I ever be happy again?” And here’s the promise in Psalm 126:4-6, “Restore our fortunes, Lord, as streams renew the desert. Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.” When you are going through a time of deep sorrow, Psalm 126 is strong medicine for your soul. It carries a powerful message of hope. It tells you that times of trouble and sorrow do not last. It tells you that God will turn your sorrow to joy and your tears to laughter. If you are going through a challenging time right now, I pray that this psalm will speak to your heart this morning. Let me tell you right up front, whatever you’re going through, it will get better. God will change your tears to joy. This week I found something I wrote about 10 years ago. I had written it on a piece of paper and there was a whole reflection about my life. At the time we had my mum living with us, she had dementia, and mostly I remember the good times and the fun times with her. I was also the Corps Officer at Glebe and Bob was the manager at William Booth House. After a page of writing I had written something like this “I’m often anxious, I’m usually stressed, I have eczema on my eyelids and ulcers in my mouth. I always feel pressed.” I went out to Bob in the lounge room and I’m like, ‘oh my goodness, eczema on my eyelids and ulcers in my mouth’, often anxious, usually stressed. The thing is, my life feels a long way from that now, and I’d forgotten what that part of my journey felt like. I’m sure when I was there I couldn’t look ahead and see a time of joy…but the truth is that “Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.” This too shall pass. ‘Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us!’ says verse 3. God is faithful – he does the healing, the restoring, he brings the streams in the desert that renews and brings fruitfulness. I don’t need to tell you – it takes time. Today, I’m praying for a work of healing in your life, a gradual restoration of joy, of laughter. Like me as a kid, sometimes we don’t like parts of this journey at all. Even though we know our destination is good. And ultimately, we have a destination like no other and that’s the promise of God. A home in heaven made possible through Jesus. May God bless you this week as you look to Him, listen to Him, find your hope in Him and find courage and healing in your journey.
More Posts
Share by: